i found my closure. hope you too.
if you already found someone, sincerely i wish you happiness.it made surprised you that i dont feel anything than smile wholeheartedly if you have someone already.
im really good, life turn out to be great and i could smile and laugh freely, happily now.
if sometimes me ever crossed your mind, could you just think of me as a stranger that once spiced up your life. and we did have a one hell of a ride.
Im more than okay.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Beyond Understanding
two people walking on the street
walking together, but emotionally apart
used to be one, but now they are just two
they are passing a stranger on the street
they even didnt realize they are passing each other as stranger, on their secluded mind
two people walking, used to hold each other hands, heart and body
now they are holding each for their own ground, own heart and own body
two people walking together, used to hate silence when they were together, now each enjoy their own solitude, and silence is their walls of denials and perhaps defense.
two people walking, their body are barely touching, perhaps on the inside their heart are nearly breaking.
two people standing together, not eye to eye nor heart to heart anymore. because the pain could obviously seen. now they are facing the opposite of each other, because perhaps this is just better this way.
two people, not holding hands anymore, but each holding their hearts tightly, their pride firmly.
two people walking together,each try to convince them selves, that this is just the way it is. this is better than yesterday.
two people walking together, putting on a brave face. each is protecting the solitude of the other. maybe it's strange but deeper way.
walking together, but emotionally apart
used to be one, but now they are just two
they are passing a stranger on the street
they even didnt realize they are passing each other as stranger, on their secluded mind
two people walking, used to hold each other hands, heart and body
now they are holding each for their own ground, own heart and own body
two people walking together, used to hate silence when they were together, now each enjoy their own solitude, and silence is their walls of denials and perhaps defense.
two people walking, their body are barely touching, perhaps on the inside their heart are nearly breaking.
two people standing together, not eye to eye nor heart to heart anymore. because the pain could obviously seen. now they are facing the opposite of each other, because perhaps this is just better this way.
two people, not holding hands anymore, but each holding their hearts tightly, their pride firmly.
two people walking together,each try to convince them selves, that this is just the way it is. this is better than yesterday.
two people walking together, putting on a brave face. each is protecting the solitude of the other. maybe it's strange but deeper way.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
For what it's worth
You and me. we both knew all along that you will never gonna fight for me. so thats why i have done everything i could n said i wait. but even when the last drop of my strength failed me. you just stood there.
i should have known better. stupid me.
so for what it's worth, thank you.
i should have known better. stupid me.
so for what it's worth, thank you.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
In Solitude
in solitude
i found me
to make peace with my complexity
to gain strength that was drained from the last battle
in solitude
i found my answer
that i may not know all the answers, whatever they might be, i chose the less i know the better
that i may have thought, guessing, it all wrong or right, it just doesnt matter anymore.
in solitude
i have calmed the storm in my heart, and quieted my thoughts
in solitude
im free from any judgement, resentment, and commitment.
in solitude
there's nothing more important to me than freedom
i found me
to make peace with my complexity
to gain strength that was drained from the last battle
in solitude
i found my answer
that i may not know all the answers, whatever they might be, i chose the less i know the better
that i may have thought, guessing, it all wrong or right, it just doesnt matter anymore.
in solitude
i have calmed the storm in my heart, and quieted my thoughts
in solitude
im free from any judgement, resentment, and commitment.
in solitude
there's nothing more important to me than freedom
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
No more
it took a few slapped of realization of reality
to listen to the voice of reason again..
to think logically without having another collision with vain feelings
to see clear as facts, to put aside all unrealistic hope, feelings, dreams, or whatever you may called it.
when logic took its stand, firmly, heal the blindness of the heart, show the right way, far away from stupidity.
i took, held, logic tightly, as my life depends on it.
i heard, my inner voice of reason, with a voice as clear as thunder,said "no more"
and this time, i obey.
to listen to the voice of reason again..
to think logically without having another collision with vain feelings
to see clear as facts, to put aside all unrealistic hope, feelings, dreams, or whatever you may called it.
when logic took its stand, firmly, heal the blindness of the heart, show the right way, far away from stupidity.
i took, held, logic tightly, as my life depends on it.
i heard, my inner voice of reason, with a voice as clear as thunder,said "no more"
and this time, i obey.
Monday, August 16, 2010
It's what you want.
The thing is, it's what you want. that i finally gave.
you know exactly what i want.
but you dont want what i want.
so in the end, i gave what you want.
the thing is, it's not because i dont want what i used to want anymore, but because finally i can fully understand what you want.
you know it's not easy for me to gave up what i want for the thing you want.
it's not easy.
you know exactly what i want.
but you dont want what i want.
so in the end, i gave what you want.
the thing is, it's not because i dont want what i used to want anymore, but because finally i can fully understand what you want.
you know it's not easy for me to gave up what i want for the thing you want.
it's not easy.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Silence
Time to tell me the truth
To burden your mouth for what you say
No pieces of paper in the way
'Cause I can't continue pretending to choose
These opposite sides on which we fall
The loving you laters if at all
No right minds could wrong, be this many times
My memory is cruel
I'm queen of attention to details
Defending intentions if its fails
Until now, you told me
It sounded familiar in a way
That I could have sworn I'd heard you say it
Ten thousand times, if only I had been listening
Leave unsaid, unspoken
Eyes wide shut, unopened
You and me always between the lines
I thought i was ready to bleed
That we'd move from the shadows on the wall
Stand in the center of it all
Too late, two choices, to stay or to leave
Mine was so easy to uncover
you'd already left
So I learned to listen through silence
Leave unsaid, unspoken
Eyes wide shut, unopened
You and me always be
I tell myself all the words you surely meant to say
I'll talk until the conversation doesn't stay on
Wait for me, I'm almost ready when you meant let go.
To burden your mouth for what you say
No pieces of paper in the way
'Cause I can't continue pretending to choose
These opposite sides on which we fall
The loving you laters if at all
No right minds could wrong, be this many times
My memory is cruel
I'm queen of attention to details
Defending intentions if its fails
Until now, you told me
It sounded familiar in a way
That I could have sworn I'd heard you say it
Ten thousand times, if only I had been listening
Leave unsaid, unspoken
Eyes wide shut, unopened
You and me always between the lines
I thought i was ready to bleed
That we'd move from the shadows on the wall
Stand in the center of it all
Too late, two choices, to stay or to leave
Mine was so easy to uncover
you'd already left
So I learned to listen through silence
Leave unsaid, unspoken
Eyes wide shut, unopened
You and me always be
I tell myself all the words you surely meant to say
I'll talk until the conversation doesn't stay on
Wait for me, I'm almost ready when you meant let go.
Monday, August 9, 2010
It's just hit me
should I give up..
or should I just keep chasing pavements..
Even if it leads nowhere..
or would it be a waste..
even if I knew my place..
should I leave it there..
or should I just keep chasing pavements..
Even if it leads nowhere..
or would it be a waste..
even if I knew my place..
should I leave it there..
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Profound
warm morning
swept away the cold
my mind found rest. finally.
there's nothing i could ask than a little peace of mind.
just a little peace of mind for a brief moment, for an hour or hours, i dont even dare to wish for days.
only for a moment. my mind finally rest in peace.
this moment for me, is profound.
swept away the cold
my mind found rest. finally.
there's nothing i could ask than a little peace of mind.
just a little peace of mind for a brief moment, for an hour or hours, i dont even dare to wish for days.
only for a moment. my mind finally rest in peace.
this moment for me, is profound.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Fair (conversation with my self)
'you put alot of effort for something that you knew that impossible.'
'i dont think so'
'huh? did you ever think? nope...you feels not think. and you know better than anyone that feelings could deceived you'
' i know what i feels, and i know what i feels is right"
' if your feelings is right, why are you suffering?, dont you ever get it? you are not being fair with your self, you pushed your self to the limit, beyond her limit,you abandoned all your values, even when everytime she's bleeding you said thats okay, it just a scratch, you continue to ignored her pains. you shut me down, your voice of reason, everytime i try to reason with you, you just didnt want to hear me out. but everytime you were in pain, i was the one that came to comfort you.
"silence"
' how long that you think your heart can hold?'
" deep silence"
" whatever your decision, whatever you do, please, please be fair to your self"
" sigh, and deep silence"
" dont let your self down, if you do, i will never forgive you"
" silence"
'i dont think so'
'huh? did you ever think? nope...you feels not think. and you know better than anyone that feelings could deceived you'
' i know what i feels, and i know what i feels is right"
' if your feelings is right, why are you suffering?, dont you ever get it? you are not being fair with your self, you pushed your self to the limit, beyond her limit,you abandoned all your values, even when everytime she's bleeding you said thats okay, it just a scratch, you continue to ignored her pains. you shut me down, your voice of reason, everytime i try to reason with you, you just didnt want to hear me out. but everytime you were in pain, i was the one that came to comfort you.
"silence"
' how long that you think your heart can hold?'
" deep silence"
" whatever your decision, whatever you do, please, please be fair to your self"
" sigh, and deep silence"
" dont let your self down, if you do, i will never forgive you"
" silence"
Monday, July 19, 2010
Black hole
Once vowed to my self,
that never once i would let my heart be conquered.
that i would not let my guard down.
that when it comes to love and logic, i would stand by logic.
that never once i would gamble upon my heart.
let my self down and could not trust my self anymore.
it's a black hole.
that never once i would let my heart be conquered.
that i would not let my guard down.
that when it comes to love and logic, i would stand by logic.
that never once i would gamble upon my heart.
let my self down and could not trust my self anymore.
it's a black hole.
Numb
She has no memory,
How she came to be here.
But as she writes,
it starts to become clear
Through the enigmas,
and strangest of things,
in this abstract place,
no feeling it brings.
Her fingers type the words,
that she knows within her soul.
her mind feeds her the thoughts,
but the body has grown so cold.
Ecstasy, euphoria,
pain and joy.
all emotions she once felt.
but now theres not any left.
Her heart is beating,
alive and true.
but inside her soul,
she is so numb,
about everything.
Indifference engulfs her,
to the point of no return,
she puts her hand into the fire,
and yet it does not burn.
She cuts her hand,
no blood she finds.
“That can’t be possible,”
her conscience reminds.
She sees the mirror,
upon the wall.
the one that looks so familiar,
and so does the hall.
She walks up to it,
it starts to fall.
she realizes this is her only way back,
back to it all.
Quickly jumping into it,
before it shatters into pieces of glass.
she tried to go back home,
and thankfully she made it quite fast.
to again feel love and pain,
no longer to pass,
through the labrynth of illusions,
inside the looking glass.
How she came to be here.
But as she writes,
it starts to become clear
Through the enigmas,
and strangest of things,
in this abstract place,
no feeling it brings.
Her fingers type the words,
that she knows within her soul.
her mind feeds her the thoughts,
but the body has grown so cold.
Ecstasy, euphoria,
pain and joy.
all emotions she once felt.
but now theres not any left.
Her heart is beating,
alive and true.
but inside her soul,
she is so numb,
about everything.
Indifference engulfs her,
to the point of no return,
she puts her hand into the fire,
and yet it does not burn.
She cuts her hand,
no blood she finds.
“That can’t be possible,”
her conscience reminds.
She sees the mirror,
upon the wall.
the one that looks so familiar,
and so does the hall.
She walks up to it,
it starts to fall.
she realizes this is her only way back,
back to it all.
Quickly jumping into it,
before it shatters into pieces of glass.
she tried to go back home,
and thankfully she made it quite fast.
to again feel love and pain,
no longer to pass,
through the labrynth of illusions,
inside the looking glass.
Lesson learned
The Lion King
[Rafiki whacks Simba on the head with his stick]
Simba: Ow! Jeez, what was that for?!
Rafiki: It doesn’t matter! It’s in the past! [chuckles]
Simba: Yeah, but it still hurts.
Rafiki: Oh, yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or – learn from it.
[Rafiki whacks Simba on the head with his stick]
Simba: Ow! Jeez, what was that for?!
Rafiki: It doesn’t matter! It’s in the past! [chuckles]
Simba: Yeah, but it still hurts.
Rafiki: Oh, yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or – learn from it.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
My Quest. Answered.
i read an interesting debate of an atheist about the existence of God. as a former atheist, i can understand that person's struggle, the search, the battle within. thats why i decided to share my personal thoughts here.
in my personal opinion, religions are man made. those scriptures (holly books) such as Torah, Bible, Quran, are wrote by man. ordinary man and not God Him self. many agnostic and atheist said those ancient scriptures are just tales, bunch of nice stories from thousand years ago.
when you study religions, we know that religions have flaws, religious people have flaws and history noted, so what makes those scriptures so divine?
from ancient history, human have a desire to search for truth, the fundamental question of the existence of man, or if there's a god, what is god? there're logical paradox and logical proposition about the existence of god. from paganism to semitic religions who believe in one God, man seek for truth, all great philosophers and thinkers seek to find the answers of life, the essence of everything.
we know that philosophers and thinkers gave birth to science and knowledge, so we can taste the fruit of inventions, creations, all the magnificent things thats science had brought to human life. Science have answer for many things but does it have answer for everything? logically, i doubt it.
religions can provide solutions for many things but why there'are still unexplain things in life? human stories and history explained.
Richard dawkins a famous atheist and thinkers, wrote books about selfish gene and the god delusion, many atheist worship his thinking as progressive and revolutionary, even there's a trend among atheist today whenever they encounter a debate about religions, they will sometimes quoting dawkins. many atheist idolize great philosophers and thinkers as their gods. some called themselves platonians, aristotelians, but for me they are not gods, but teachers. i admire their works, create milestone of human civilization. but they are human, and human are capable of error. they could be wrong. the fundamental rule and very basic of logic, is to doubt everything. Skeptism is a common thing in philosophy.
atheism is to doubt the very existence of god. but somehow atheist forgot to doubt their own. in logic we should be skeptic.
and then there're long debate about creationism vs evolution, and it's tiring. there're many proof from scientist and thinkers who believe in creationism, which refuted darwin's evolution theory, but also from the atheist side, they also have scientifically proof that creationism is false. many great books wrote by great thinkers, philosophers and scientist. but i learn from experience, that we should challenge everything that we read, not quite easily accepted those as truth. because in logical thinking, there're no such absolute truth, so what is the truth then? can we define the truth? logically and morally?from skeptic believer point of view, the truth is relative.
to comprehend the existence of God, we have to search within. deep in our inner being. it's not a logical search, it's a soul search. if there's a God, God must be transcendent. there'are many times in life, we are incapable to explain, or find some logical answers. for example we cant predict or foreseen what would gonna happen to us in let say 5 minutes later, we could makes plan, but in life there'are the unexpected, accident, incident, things that intangible. human always deal with uncertainty.
if atheism can explains every unanswered questions about life, logically. I would stand as a pround atheist today.
anyway it start by a simple question, why i am here? what is my purpose in life? it's not just eat, sleep, work, dating, married, raising a family, relationship, happiness, popularity, career, charity work, active in religious activity, etc, but must be more than that. i believe that we are worth for living, there's a divine purpose in each of us. bcause to believe it other wise it just degrading the worth of man.
we all have desire to find the truth, we seek the truth in every aspect of life, our curiousity of truth has brought us into this certain of time, this certain place, and this certain phase of life. we encountered the relativity truth in our daily life, but still it cant satisfied our deepest desire. we always in doubt. but i believe there's an absolute truth, the Truth, it's transcendent. and it's God.
to understand the existence of God, we have to put our logic in humility mode, it took a humble mind to believe. as was an atheist i dont believe in love, because love was against all my logic could comprehend and love with all it absurdity i once vowed to rejected.
to believe in God, makes me believe in goodness, i believe in hope, and love. there're times where i have to shut my logic and to have faith. it's not easy for me, because logic had been my only resourceful of guidance and survival in life. i know that i cant abandon my logic, but i learn to not only hear the voice of my head but also the voice of my heart. still it's a fierce battle sometimes, because i used to follow my logic not my heart. now i try to balance it, logic and faith, is it possible? yes, but it takes huge effort and amount of time. logic still be my torch of light, but now i learn wisdom to know the difference.
i know now, that when i believe to the transcendent of God, it cast my doubts away. when things are uncertain i have hope in certainty of God. when i know i cant foreseen the future but i have faith that God hold my future and i can be rest assured. when facts of life are so difficult to understand logically, i put my trust in God that maybe i dont have to understand why, but i know God will help me thru it.
to believe in God, it's simple. just have faith. without faith we cant see God. you know mathematic is logic rite? for example 2 + 2 = 4, the questions is how do you know that 2+2=4, re u sure? what makes 2+2 =4? because the rules of numbers? so what is numbers? the beginning of number is zero, null. it the same as nothingness. without zero there would not be 12345....etc. so it begins with nothingness. can u comperehend nothingness logically? i believe there's also some faith in mathematical thinking. so does with God.
i really grateful to believe in God. im grateful that God let me to find the Truth and the Truth really set me free.
in my personal opinion, religions are man made. those scriptures (holly books) such as Torah, Bible, Quran, are wrote by man. ordinary man and not God Him self. many agnostic and atheist said those ancient scriptures are just tales, bunch of nice stories from thousand years ago.
when you study religions, we know that religions have flaws, religious people have flaws and history noted, so what makes those scriptures so divine?
from ancient history, human have a desire to search for truth, the fundamental question of the existence of man, or if there's a god, what is god? there're logical paradox and logical proposition about the existence of god. from paganism to semitic religions who believe in one God, man seek for truth, all great philosophers and thinkers seek to find the answers of life, the essence of everything.
we know that philosophers and thinkers gave birth to science and knowledge, so we can taste the fruit of inventions, creations, all the magnificent things thats science had brought to human life. Science have answer for many things but does it have answer for everything? logically, i doubt it.
religions can provide solutions for many things but why there'are still unexplain things in life? human stories and history explained.
Richard dawkins a famous atheist and thinkers, wrote books about selfish gene and the god delusion, many atheist worship his thinking as progressive and revolutionary, even there's a trend among atheist today whenever they encounter a debate about religions, they will sometimes quoting dawkins. many atheist idolize great philosophers and thinkers as their gods. some called themselves platonians, aristotelians, but for me they are not gods, but teachers. i admire their works, create milestone of human civilization. but they are human, and human are capable of error. they could be wrong. the fundamental rule and very basic of logic, is to doubt everything. Skeptism is a common thing in philosophy.
atheism is to doubt the very existence of god. but somehow atheist forgot to doubt their own. in logic we should be skeptic.
and then there're long debate about creationism vs evolution, and it's tiring. there're many proof from scientist and thinkers who believe in creationism, which refuted darwin's evolution theory, but also from the atheist side, they also have scientifically proof that creationism is false. many great books wrote by great thinkers, philosophers and scientist. but i learn from experience, that we should challenge everything that we read, not quite easily accepted those as truth. because in logical thinking, there're no such absolute truth, so what is the truth then? can we define the truth? logically and morally?from skeptic believer point of view, the truth is relative.
to comprehend the existence of God, we have to search within. deep in our inner being. it's not a logical search, it's a soul search. if there's a God, God must be transcendent. there'are many times in life, we are incapable to explain, or find some logical answers. for example we cant predict or foreseen what would gonna happen to us in let say 5 minutes later, we could makes plan, but in life there'are the unexpected, accident, incident, things that intangible. human always deal with uncertainty.
if atheism can explains every unanswered questions about life, logically. I would stand as a pround atheist today.
anyway it start by a simple question, why i am here? what is my purpose in life? it's not just eat, sleep, work, dating, married, raising a family, relationship, happiness, popularity, career, charity work, active in religious activity, etc, but must be more than that. i believe that we are worth for living, there's a divine purpose in each of us. bcause to believe it other wise it just degrading the worth of man.
we all have desire to find the truth, we seek the truth in every aspect of life, our curiousity of truth has brought us into this certain of time, this certain place, and this certain phase of life. we encountered the relativity truth in our daily life, but still it cant satisfied our deepest desire. we always in doubt. but i believe there's an absolute truth, the Truth, it's transcendent. and it's God.
to understand the existence of God, we have to put our logic in humility mode, it took a humble mind to believe. as was an atheist i dont believe in love, because love was against all my logic could comprehend and love with all it absurdity i once vowed to rejected.
to believe in God, makes me believe in goodness, i believe in hope, and love. there're times where i have to shut my logic and to have faith. it's not easy for me, because logic had been my only resourceful of guidance and survival in life. i know that i cant abandon my logic, but i learn to not only hear the voice of my head but also the voice of my heart. still it's a fierce battle sometimes, because i used to follow my logic not my heart. now i try to balance it, logic and faith, is it possible? yes, but it takes huge effort and amount of time. logic still be my torch of light, but now i learn wisdom to know the difference.
i know now, that when i believe to the transcendent of God, it cast my doubts away. when things are uncertain i have hope in certainty of God. when i know i cant foreseen the future but i have faith that God hold my future and i can be rest assured. when facts of life are so difficult to understand logically, i put my trust in God that maybe i dont have to understand why, but i know God will help me thru it.
to believe in God, it's simple. just have faith. without faith we cant see God. you know mathematic is logic rite? for example 2 + 2 = 4, the questions is how do you know that 2+2=4, re u sure? what makes 2+2 =4? because the rules of numbers? so what is numbers? the beginning of number is zero, null. it the same as nothingness. without zero there would not be 12345....etc. so it begins with nothingness. can u comperehend nothingness logically? i believe there's also some faith in mathematical thinking. so does with God.
i really grateful to believe in God. im grateful that God let me to find the Truth and the Truth really set me free.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Secret Garden
She'll let you in her house
If you come knockin' late at night
She'll let you in her mouth
If the words you say are right
If you pay the price
She'll let you deep inside
But there's a secret garden she hides
She'll let you in her car
To go drivin' 'round
She'll let you into the parts of herself
That'll bring you down
She'll let you in her heart
If you got a hammer and a vise
But into her secret garden, don't think twice
You've gone a million miles
How far'd you get
To that place where you can't remember
And you can't forget
She'll lead you down a path
There'll be tenderness in the air
She'll let you come just far enough
So you know she's really there
Then she'll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She's got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you need
Will always stay
A million miles away
If you come knockin' late at night
She'll let you in her mouth
If the words you say are right
If you pay the price
She'll let you deep inside
But there's a secret garden she hides
She'll let you in her car
To go drivin' 'round
She'll let you into the parts of herself
That'll bring you down
She'll let you in her heart
If you got a hammer and a vise
But into her secret garden, don't think twice
You've gone a million miles
How far'd you get
To that place where you can't remember
And you can't forget
She'll lead you down a path
There'll be tenderness in the air
She'll let you come just far enough
So you know she's really there
Then she'll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She's got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you need
Will always stay
A million miles away
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Asleep
Golden head by golden head,
Like two pigeons in one nest
Folded in each other’s wings,
They lay down their curtained bed:
Like two blossoms on one stem
Like two flakes of new-fall’n snow,
Like two wands of ivory
Tipped with gold for awful kings.
Moon and stars gazed in at them,
Wind sang to them lullaby,
Lumbering owls forbore to fly,
Not a bat flapped to and fro
Round their nest
Cheek to cheek and breast to breast
Locked together in one nest.
Like two pigeons in one nest
Folded in each other’s wings,
They lay down their curtained bed:
Like two blossoms on one stem
Like two flakes of new-fall’n snow,
Like two wands of ivory
Tipped with gold for awful kings.
Moon and stars gazed in at them,
Wind sang to them lullaby,
Lumbering owls forbore to fly,
Not a bat flapped to and fro
Round their nest
Cheek to cheek and breast to breast
Locked together in one nest.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
It takes some moments
Sometimes in a brief of flashes or flames,
I see, hear, something gives chill on the spine
and punch straight to the heart.
It reveals, unveils, enlights to my consciousness
intellectually, emotionally, spiritually
like a gentle slap in the face,
or sharp knive stab me not to kill
only to remove the bullet in my chest
In silent of tonight
i shiver, shaken, but somehow understand.
Sometimes it takes hurts to be made understand,
that understanding is bloody priceless.
I see, hear, something gives chill on the spine
and punch straight to the heart.
It reveals, unveils, enlights to my consciousness
intellectually, emotionally, spiritually
like a gentle slap in the face,
or sharp knive stab me not to kill
only to remove the bullet in my chest
In silent of tonight
i shiver, shaken, but somehow understand.
Sometimes it takes hurts to be made understand,
that understanding is bloody priceless.
Fine (conversation with my self)
What are you feeling?
Im fine.
Are you happy?
Im fine
So you are not happy then?
Im fine
Are you sad?
Try not to. Im fine.
Are you mad?
just cant think mad. Im fine.
So what exactly do you feel?
Im fine. fine. fine.fine.
Why you put too much fine in your answer?
Just in case you ask again.
Is there some thing upset you?
Some thing up set me and some thing just dont, what is the different anyway? im still fine.
What your mind telling you?
I ought to be fine.
What your heart telling you?
I will be fine.
So are you trying to be brave?
Im not brave enough, but im just fine enough.
Are you tired?
"smile"..
Why are u smiling? are you tired?
"smile. again" ...
Why you keep on smiling? and not answering my question? ok i repeat my question for the third time. tell me are you tired?
" still smiling, now with a big grin"...
Why are you silently smiling?and still not answering???
Im fine.
Are you happy?
Im fine
So you are not happy then?
Im fine
Are you sad?
Try not to. Im fine.
Are you mad?
just cant think mad. Im fine.
So what exactly do you feel?
Im fine. fine. fine.fine.
Why you put too much fine in your answer?
Just in case you ask again.
Is there some thing upset you?
Some thing up set me and some thing just dont, what is the different anyway? im still fine.
What your mind telling you?
I ought to be fine.
What your heart telling you?
I will be fine.
So are you trying to be brave?
Im not brave enough, but im just fine enough.
Are you tired?
"smile"..
Why are u smiling? are you tired?
"smile. again" ...
Why you keep on smiling? and not answering my question? ok i repeat my question for the third time. tell me are you tired?
" still smiling, now with a big grin"...
Why are you silently smiling?and still not answering???
Be...
When the spent sun throws up its rays on cloud
And goes down burning into the gulf below,
No voice in nature is heard to cry aloud
At what has happened. Birds, at least must know
It is the change to darkness in the sky.
Murmuring something quiet in her breast,
One bird begins to close a faded eye;
Or overtaken too far from his nest,
Hurrying low above the grove, some waif
Swoops just in time to his remembered tree.
At most he thinks or twitters softly, 'Safe!
Now let the night be dark for all of me.
Let the night be too dark for me to see
Into the future. Let what will be, be.
And goes down burning into the gulf below,
No voice in nature is heard to cry aloud
At what has happened. Birds, at least must know
It is the change to darkness in the sky.
Murmuring something quiet in her breast,
One bird begins to close a faded eye;
Or overtaken too far from his nest,
Hurrying low above the grove, some waif
Swoops just in time to his remembered tree.
At most he thinks or twitters softly, 'Safe!
Now let the night be dark for all of me.
Let the night be too dark for me to see
Into the future. Let what will be, be.
Into my own
One of my wishes is that those dark trees,
So old and firm they scarcely show the breeze,
Were not, as ’twere, the merest mask of gloom,
But stretched away unto the edge of doom.
I should not be withheld but that some day
Into their vastness I should steal away,
Fearless of ever finding open land,
Or highway where the slow wheel pours the sand.
I do not see why I should e’er turn back,
Or those should not set forth upon my track
To overtake me, who should miss me here
And long to know if still I held them dear.
They would not find me changed from him they knew
Only more sure of all I thought was true.
So old and firm they scarcely show the breeze,
Were not, as ’twere, the merest mask of gloom,
But stretched away unto the edge of doom.
I should not be withheld but that some day
Into their vastness I should steal away,
Fearless of ever finding open land,
Or highway where the slow wheel pours the sand.
I do not see why I should e’er turn back,
Or those should not set forth upon my track
To overtake me, who should miss me here
And long to know if still I held them dear.
They would not find me changed from him they knew
Only more sure of all I thought was true.
Friday, July 2, 2010
From that time on, the world was hers for the reading. She would never be lonely again, never miss the lack intimate friends. Books became her friends and there was one for every mood. There was poetry for quiet companionship. There was adventure when she tired of quiet hours. There would be love stories when she came into adolescence and when she wanted to feel a closeness to someone she could read a biography. On that day when she first knew she could read, she made a vow to read one book a day as long as she lived.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Subconscious
Under the dark warm waters of sleep
your hands part me.
I am dreaming you anyway.
Your mouth is hot fruit, wet, strange,
night-fruit I taste with my opening mouth;
my eyes closed.
You, you. Your breath flares into fervent words
which explode in my head. Then you ask, push,
for an answer.
And this is how we sleep. You're in now, hard,
demanding; so I dream more fiercely, dream
till it hurts
that this is for real, yes, I feel it.
When you hear me, you hold on tight, frantic,
as if we were drowning.
your hands part me.
I am dreaming you anyway.
Your mouth is hot fruit, wet, strange,
night-fruit I taste with my opening mouth;
my eyes closed.
You, you. Your breath flares into fervent words
which explode in my head. Then you ask, push,
for an answer.
And this is how we sleep. You're in now, hard,
demanding; so I dream more fiercely, dream
till it hurts
that this is for real, yes, I feel it.
When you hear me, you hold on tight, frantic,
as if we were drowning.
Just a thought
Always fall in with what you're asked to accept. Take what is given, and make it over your way. My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever's going. Not against: with.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Why I Love My Dogs
The dog has been esteemed and loved by all the people on earth and he has deserved this affection for he renders services that have made him man's best friend.
Alfred Barbou
Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.
Agatha Christie
The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.
Charles de Gaulle
The more I see of the depressing stature of people, the more I admire my dogs.
Alphonse de Lamartine
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
M. Facklam
If you want loyalty, get a dog. If you want loyalty and attention, get a smart dog.
Grant Fairley
The dogs in our lives, the dogs we come to love and who (we fervently believe) love us in return, offer more than fidelity, consolation, and companionship. They offer comedy, irony, wit, and a wealth of anecdotes, the "shaggy dog stories" and "stupid pet tricks" that are commonplace pleasures of life. They offer, if we are wise enough or simple enough to take it, a model for what it means to give your heart with little thought of return. Both powerfully imaginary and comfortingly real, dogs act as mirrors for our own beliefs about what would constitute a truly humane society. Perhaps it is not too late for them to teach us some new tricks.
Marjorie Garber
Read Nothing but love has made the dog lose his wild freedom, to become the servant of man.
D.H. Lawrence
Alfred Barbou
Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.
Agatha Christie
The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.
Charles de Gaulle
The more I see of the depressing stature of people, the more I admire my dogs.
Alphonse de Lamartine
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
M. Facklam
If you want loyalty, get a dog. If you want loyalty and attention, get a smart dog.
Grant Fairley
The dogs in our lives, the dogs we come to love and who (we fervently believe) love us in return, offer more than fidelity, consolation, and companionship. They offer comedy, irony, wit, and a wealth of anecdotes, the "shaggy dog stories" and "stupid pet tricks" that are commonplace pleasures of life. They offer, if we are wise enough or simple enough to take it, a model for what it means to give your heart with little thought of return. Both powerfully imaginary and comfortingly real, dogs act as mirrors for our own beliefs about what would constitute a truly humane society. Perhaps it is not too late for them to teach us some new tricks.
Marjorie Garber
Read Nothing but love has made the dog lose his wild freedom, to become the servant of man.
D.H. Lawrence
Monday, June 28, 2010
The Thing Is...
to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you’ve held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you’ve held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.
When someone deeply listens to you
When someone deeply listens to you
it is like holding out a dented cup
you’ve had since childhood
and watching it fill up with
cold, fresh water.
When it balances on top of the brim,
you are understood.
When it overflows and touches your skin,
you are loved.
When someone deeply listens to you
the room where you stay
starts a new life
and the place where you wrote
your first poem
begins to glow in your mind’s eye.
It is as if gold has been discovered!
When someone deeply listens to you
your barefeet are on the earth
and a beloved land that seemed distant
is now at home within you.
— John Fox
it is like holding out a dented cup
you’ve had since childhood
and watching it fill up with
cold, fresh water.
When it balances on top of the brim,
you are understood.
When it overflows and touches your skin,
you are loved.
When someone deeply listens to you
the room where you stay
starts a new life
and the place where you wrote
your first poem
begins to glow in your mind’s eye.
It is as if gold has been discovered!
When someone deeply listens to you
your barefeet are on the earth
and a beloved land that seemed distant
is now at home within you.
— John Fox
It's not a word
It is not a word spoken,
Few words are said;
Nor even a look of the eyes
Nor a bend of the head,
But only a hush of the heart
That has too much to keep,
Only memories waking
That sleep so light a sleep.
Few words are said;
Nor even a look of the eyes
Nor a bend of the head,
But only a hush of the heart
That has too much to keep,
Only memories waking
That sleep so light a sleep.
Traffic Jam. Lesson Learned
Have you ever stuck in traffic jam for 7 horrible hours? I have. As I recalled it was during flood season when I was driving my car on the way to work, for me the experience was unbelievably traumatic. As well as many people often struggle to deal with an unavoidable Jakarta’s traffic jam, which is commonly at the peak of its hectic hours in the morning and after working-hours. Waiting in traffic jam is frustrating and stress producing, the experience is tormenting either driving alone or with a driver. Nothing could possibly be worse than Jakarta’s traffic jam. And we have to deal with it in every single day.
I love living in Jakarta, this dynamic urban city offers hope, opportunity, and challenge for people that try to make a living here. Jakarta has been recognizes to be one of the largest city in the world, and its vast development has made many Jakartans feels proud. With its wide roads, ring roads, toll roads, and the latest is busway, should make traveling in Jakarta easier and accessible. How ever, as one of the most populous cities in the world, the city layout is chaotic and totally bewildering, Jakarta’s traffic has been notorious for its perpetual grid-lock, the traffic is indisputably the worst in South-East Asia with horrendous traffic jams slowing the city to a crawl during rush hour.
While waiting in traffic jam, try to look outside of your car window, and view the car or the motorcycle near you, you will actually find some people with tight faces ready to do combat to reach their destination. The waiting experience is exhausting and drained you physically and emotionally. And to make the experience even worst are the behavior of buses and angkot that rudely cut off your line, the new king of the road are motorcycles, they comes with incredible force as a unit, undoubtedly will drive you crazy. You should have some extra-ordinary driving skills in able to survive in Jakarta’s traffic.
How ever, despite all the ugliness of Jakarta’s traffic, I simply admire the resilient of Jakarta’s resident to keep on driving their vehicles every day in one of most chaotic and unorganized roads in the world. How they could manage to wake up every morning and drive into the madness of perpetual traffic jam. Then after a long tiring day at work, they have to face another battle of long hours stuck in the same traffic jam, again. Or did you ever notice those people that traveled with bus or angkot, they do not have the luxury of air conditioner or comfortable seat, most of the times the bus is too crowded and do not have enough space so many passengers must endure hours of standing in the bus. Their ability to survive in one of the toughest traffic jam in the world, Jakarta’s residents should be given a trophy.
Traffic jam is like a ground test for human character, it tested your resilience, your strength of endurance and it tested your patience. Those valuable experiences are priceless. You will be utterly amazed how small things can really teach you great lessons.
Life in many mysterious ways, teach and test people, from lousy day at work, quarrel with spouse, or even being stuck miserably in traffic jam, it is the way you respond that matter most. Everything that happens in life creates lessons, lessons produces values, and values transforms character.
I love living in Jakarta, this dynamic urban city offers hope, opportunity, and challenge for people that try to make a living here. Jakarta has been recognizes to be one of the largest city in the world, and its vast development has made many Jakartans feels proud. With its wide roads, ring roads, toll roads, and the latest is busway, should make traveling in Jakarta easier and accessible. How ever, as one of the most populous cities in the world, the city layout is chaotic and totally bewildering, Jakarta’s traffic has been notorious for its perpetual grid-lock, the traffic is indisputably the worst in South-East Asia with horrendous traffic jams slowing the city to a crawl during rush hour.
While waiting in traffic jam, try to look outside of your car window, and view the car or the motorcycle near you, you will actually find some people with tight faces ready to do combat to reach their destination. The waiting experience is exhausting and drained you physically and emotionally. And to make the experience even worst are the behavior of buses and angkot that rudely cut off your line, the new king of the road are motorcycles, they comes with incredible force as a unit, undoubtedly will drive you crazy. You should have some extra-ordinary driving skills in able to survive in Jakarta’s traffic.
How ever, despite all the ugliness of Jakarta’s traffic, I simply admire the resilient of Jakarta’s resident to keep on driving their vehicles every day in one of most chaotic and unorganized roads in the world. How they could manage to wake up every morning and drive into the madness of perpetual traffic jam. Then after a long tiring day at work, they have to face another battle of long hours stuck in the same traffic jam, again. Or did you ever notice those people that traveled with bus or angkot, they do not have the luxury of air conditioner or comfortable seat, most of the times the bus is too crowded and do not have enough space so many passengers must endure hours of standing in the bus. Their ability to survive in one of the toughest traffic jam in the world, Jakarta’s residents should be given a trophy.
Traffic jam is like a ground test for human character, it tested your resilience, your strength of endurance and it tested your patience. Those valuable experiences are priceless. You will be utterly amazed how small things can really teach you great lessons.
Life in many mysterious ways, teach and test people, from lousy day at work, quarrel with spouse, or even being stuck miserably in traffic jam, it is the way you respond that matter most. Everything that happens in life creates lessons, lessons produces values, and values transforms character.
My Perception of Beauty
The world’s perception of beauty has become commodity. Some people without realizing they already become a victim of commercialization of beauty. In today’s society we are bombarded with images of beauty, urged and practically forced by media and pop culture to attain physical beauty as the key of happiness and success in life. In a result of that some have based their self-worth and self image on false and wrong ideals. The standard of beauty has been determined by perfect appearance and beautifully flawless, men and especially women are set their goal to reach that unrealistic expectation. The world are sometimes cruel with words and actions, full of uncertainty that maybe yesterday they said you are beautiful enough and tomorrow you probably may not, some people has become sensitive and fragile to keep up with the world’s irrational standard.
In this free-world era, still some people a captive from their own wrong self-image. Even some modern-sophisticated urbanites whom are smart, confidence and financially independent, sometimes felt that they can not escape from the social pressure to be perfectly beautiful outwardly. Some are struggle desperately to fit in with the commercial standard of beauty, and chose an extreme way from an extreme plastic surgery to starve-to death diet (actually this kind of action most likely done by women than men). Do not get me wrong, I am not taking an opposite position toward outward beauty because I believe that both inner and outward beauty have the significant role in our personal development. We have to take good care of our physical being and want to feel good about our selves is not a sin. But mortal beauty and perfectly flawless physically are pseudo-myth and to pursuit it wholeheartedly would not only shattered your self-worth but also would bring painful disappointment in the end.
In today’s society the definition of beauty has radically changed. Beauty has become exclusive. In it exclusiveness, outward beauty already become an ambition which requiring some men and women to focused on becoming exceedingly attractive physically. There is a social pressure especially for women to be beautiful. Most of the time both sexes felt that they have been judged not by the content of their characters but by their physical appearances.
Our society need people who stood up saying they are beautiful no matter what the world says, they are proud to be imperfect, those kind of people will stands out in society and eventually in the world. Their strength comes from their inner beings, it is where the true self dwells. Physical beauty will gradually degrading and the artificial beauty will eventually vanished, it is our inner beauty that soars beyond ages and surpasses time, strengthen us to overcome life and help us go through our darkest and most difficult times, it is our anchor to pull our self when we feel we are slipping away.
I love my self too much to bother with what the world say, because the world’s standard is unreal and vain, it just commercial agenda that targeting people with wounded ego and low self-esteem, thank god not every one is victimized, there are still people with common sense after all.
As for me beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, because eyes can easily be fooled, blurred and distracted, but I believe if we look every one from the eyes of our heart, we will see the beauty within.
as there's a saying “Beauty is in the heart of the beholder”.
In this free-world era, still some people a captive from their own wrong self-image. Even some modern-sophisticated urbanites whom are smart, confidence and financially independent, sometimes felt that they can not escape from the social pressure to be perfectly beautiful outwardly. Some are struggle desperately to fit in with the commercial standard of beauty, and chose an extreme way from an extreme plastic surgery to starve-to death diet (actually this kind of action most likely done by women than men). Do not get me wrong, I am not taking an opposite position toward outward beauty because I believe that both inner and outward beauty have the significant role in our personal development. We have to take good care of our physical being and want to feel good about our selves is not a sin. But mortal beauty and perfectly flawless physically are pseudo-myth and to pursuit it wholeheartedly would not only shattered your self-worth but also would bring painful disappointment in the end.
In today’s society the definition of beauty has radically changed. Beauty has become exclusive. In it exclusiveness, outward beauty already become an ambition which requiring some men and women to focused on becoming exceedingly attractive physically. There is a social pressure especially for women to be beautiful. Most of the time both sexes felt that they have been judged not by the content of their characters but by their physical appearances.
Our society need people who stood up saying they are beautiful no matter what the world says, they are proud to be imperfect, those kind of people will stands out in society and eventually in the world. Their strength comes from their inner beings, it is where the true self dwells. Physical beauty will gradually degrading and the artificial beauty will eventually vanished, it is our inner beauty that soars beyond ages and surpasses time, strengthen us to overcome life and help us go through our darkest and most difficult times, it is our anchor to pull our self when we feel we are slipping away.
I love my self too much to bother with what the world say, because the world’s standard is unreal and vain, it just commercial agenda that targeting people with wounded ego and low self-esteem, thank god not every one is victimized, there are still people with common sense after all.
As for me beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, because eyes can easily be fooled, blurred and distracted, but I believe if we look every one from the eyes of our heart, we will see the beauty within.
as there's a saying “Beauty is in the heart of the beholder”.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
May wind
I said, "I have shut my heart
As one shuts an open door,
That Love may starve therein
And trouble me no more."
But over the roofs there came
The wet new wind of May,
And a tune blew up from the curb
Where the street-pianos play.
My room was white with the sun
And Love cried out in me,
"I am strong, I will break your heart
Unless you set me free."
As one shuts an open door,
That Love may starve therein
And trouble me no more."
But over the roofs there came
The wet new wind of May,
And a tune blew up from the curb
Where the street-pianos play.
My room was white with the sun
And Love cried out in me,
"I am strong, I will break your heart
Unless you set me free."
The A Team
i was devastatingly bitter when my favorite under dog team, USA team lost the game to ghana. the excitement of the early winning cant replace the disappointment afterwards. when i saw Ghana scored for the second time, that was unbearable to watch, but i was still hoping that the US can make the surprise comebacks as this team had done it several times during the previous games. the last minutes of the 15 mins extra hours was closing, and i just watch my beloved team exhausted but still keep on fighting to score. i cant watch anymore and i just retreat to my room and pull my blanket to my face, and i felt so sad that night. the next morning, when i open my bedroom door, my mom greeted me with " did you know that USA lost to ghana last nite?" and thats was it. there's no words came out from my mouth, i just walked passed my mom, i dont realize that i simply ignored her, i can still feel the disappointment in my chest. usually during this world cup after every games, my family, my parents, and two of my brothers, excitingly review the previous games that we watched yesterday, and we start to analyze it like a pro football comentator:) but actually it's just becoz we love the game. but this morning is different, there's no reviewing talks, even not a word of yesterday's game. maybe we all share the same disappointment and we really fond of USA team. we really want them to win.
i still got three of my favorite teams, oranje team, tango team and samba team. but i think my heart was gone with USA team.
USA team, is not consists of star players from elite european football clubs, or even football players that worth millions like rooney, kaka, cristiano ronaldo, or messy. they are not even a favorite team like, argentina, netherlands, brazil, england or spain and portugal.
but they play with the heart, their persistence and resillience amazed me. with their two legitimate goals had denied by the referees, they made excellent comebacks when they played against slovenia, miracle goals against algeria, by donovan when only 2 mins before the games was over. they never give up. thats caught my heart.
i still got three of my favorite teams, oranje team, tango team and samba team. but i think my heart was gone with USA team.
USA team, is not consists of star players from elite european football clubs, or even football players that worth millions like rooney, kaka, cristiano ronaldo, or messy. they are not even a favorite team like, argentina, netherlands, brazil, england or spain and portugal.
but they play with the heart, their persistence and resillience amazed me. with their two legitimate goals had denied by the referees, they made excellent comebacks when they played against slovenia, miracle goals against algeria, by donovan when only 2 mins before the games was over. they never give up. thats caught my heart.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
I Love You and I Fight You
I often see how you sob over what you destroy, how you want to stop and just worship; and you do stop, and then a moment later you are at it again with a knife, like a surgeon.
What ferocity in your quest of it. You destroy and you suffer. In some strange way I am not with you, I am against you. We are destined to hold two truths. I love you and I fight you. And you, the same. We will be stronger for it, each of us, stronger with our love and our hate. When you caricature and nail down and tear apart, I hate you. I want to answer you, not with weak or stupid poetry but with a wonder as strong as your reality. I want to fight your surgical knife with all the occult and magical forces of the world."
What ferocity in your quest of it. You destroy and you suffer. In some strange way I am not with you, I am against you. We are destined to hold two truths. I love you and I fight you. And you, the same. We will be stronger for it, each of us, stronger with our love and our hate. When you caricature and nail down and tear apart, I hate you. I want to answer you, not with weak or stupid poetry but with a wonder as strong as your reality. I want to fight your surgical knife with all the occult and magical forces of the world."
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Euthanasia
Euthanasia in greek means good death, euthanasia is ' the practice of ending a life in a manner which relieves pain and suffering. the precise medical definition of euthanasia is a deliberate intervention undertaken with express intention of ending life, to relieve intractable suffering.
Euthanasia is given on patient that with no future recovering or living in a life-support machine. people that in a condition with no hope at all. most of the times the doctor just unplug the life-support machine, and less than few second, the patient is pronounced death.
most family of the patient, dont wanna to unplug the life-support machine, because they thought maybe some miracle will happen, and their loved ones will wake up one day and everything will be the same again. in most cases they try to hold on to hope. but maybe they are holding it too long and they dont know when to let go.
in our life, there're many times that we are still holding on to something that already gone. we try and try to believe, to tell our selves over and over again that it will going to be better, but the reality spoke louder.
sometimes our dreams, our desire, our hope, is in a life-support machine, we cant fix thing that is already gone, we cant force things to happen when it was never meant to be. sometimes we just have to let it go, and unplug it.
Euthanasia is given on patient that with no future recovering or living in a life-support machine. people that in a condition with no hope at all. most of the times the doctor just unplug the life-support machine, and less than few second, the patient is pronounced death.
most family of the patient, dont wanna to unplug the life-support machine, because they thought maybe some miracle will happen, and their loved ones will wake up one day and everything will be the same again. in most cases they try to hold on to hope. but maybe they are holding it too long and they dont know when to let go.
in our life, there're many times that we are still holding on to something that already gone. we try and try to believe, to tell our selves over and over again that it will going to be better, but the reality spoke louder.
sometimes our dreams, our desire, our hope, is in a life-support machine, we cant fix thing that is already gone, we cant force things to happen when it was never meant to be. sometimes we just have to let it go, and unplug it.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
............
these couple weeks was tiring. got problems at home, job, so on. my high temper was not in a good mood with every one, my low sugar diet was keeping me tired and i was mad most of the times. the thing that consoled me was, im back writing again in political bloggers community, at least i have been transferring my energy to some thing useful. writing is my only consolation, is the only thing where i can leave all my problems and maybe find a little peace of mind. i need to rest my mind.
i know i cant fix everything, and i cant change everything especially when it comes to people, but i learn that i can changed me. learning to love my self more, to value my self more, i may not be right all the time, not every thing that i think is right is right,i should have listen more.
one thing i know for sure, that His grace is sufficient. in the midst of adversity, i called. and He came to my rescue. Thank you Lord. Your love never failed me. when i was not unworthy of You, You loved me as i am.
i know i cant fix everything, and i cant change everything especially when it comes to people, but i learn that i can changed me. learning to love my self more, to value my self more, i may not be right all the time, not every thing that i think is right is right,i should have listen more.
one thing i know for sure, that His grace is sufficient. in the midst of adversity, i called. and He came to my rescue. Thank you Lord. Your love never failed me. when i was not unworthy of You, You loved me as i am.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Bittersweet - Sara Bareilles
Bittersweet seasons. Mistake a warm winter for spring.
Seems like I’m best at leaving when leaving is not the best thing.
You couldn’t help it if you needed more than I could give
That’s just the way it goes now.
I call you misplaced but never a waste of my time
Everybody’s gonna make mistakes
But you’ll never be one of mine
You couldn’t help it if you needed more than I could give
That’s just the way it goes now.
I knew you felt me leaving long before I ever did
That’s just the way it goes now.
Loved me fearless when you needed to
You would not rest till you came through
So God bless and thank you.
There is no anger is just you and I and the truth
You can try to make her but love will not be forced to bloom
You couldn’t help it if you needed more than I could give
That’s just the way it goes now
The only love worth fighting for is one that you can win and
That’s just the way it goes now.
You would not break but you could bend
And for love’s sake you let love end
But I still swear that you were God sent
And you stood before me knowing that the wings i have you gave
And that’s just the way it goes now
And I barely have the breath to breathe much less to fly away
And a silence entered the room for a one last
I’m gonna love you.
So God bless and thank you.
PS : since that day never once i listened to "This is Love", even to playing on my head still makes me cry sometimes, and i still do. i found this song weeks ago, and i understand many things.
Seems like I’m best at leaving when leaving is not the best thing.
You couldn’t help it if you needed more than I could give
That’s just the way it goes now.
I call you misplaced but never a waste of my time
Everybody’s gonna make mistakes
But you’ll never be one of mine
You couldn’t help it if you needed more than I could give
That’s just the way it goes now.
I knew you felt me leaving long before I ever did
That’s just the way it goes now.
Loved me fearless when you needed to
You would not rest till you came through
So God bless and thank you.
There is no anger is just you and I and the truth
You can try to make her but love will not be forced to bloom
You couldn’t help it if you needed more than I could give
That’s just the way it goes now
The only love worth fighting for is one that you can win and
That’s just the way it goes now.
You would not break but you could bend
And for love’s sake you let love end
But I still swear that you were God sent
And you stood before me knowing that the wings i have you gave
And that’s just the way it goes now
And I barely have the breath to breathe much less to fly away
And a silence entered the room for a one last
I’m gonna love you.
So God bless and thank you.
PS : since that day never once i listened to "This is Love", even to playing on my head still makes me cry sometimes, and i still do. i found this song weeks ago, and i understand many things.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Quotes From Sex and City
"When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?”
“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”
(My personal life-long quote): “Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.”
“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”
(My personal life-long quote): “Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.”
Saturday, February 27, 2010
New Fascism
in our modern time still we could find some justified wars, etnic cleansings, genocides,injustice treatment of minority groups,discrimination in all forms, anti-semit ideology spread like virus all over the world,and the world have their new enemy that threathen all humanity and the existence of modern civilization called "radical terrorist group". this radical group have brought many atrocities around the world by their suicidal bombings that massacre thousand and millions of innocent lives.
this new fascism ideology, is more dangerous than fascism of hitler because it put its foundation on religious based.
this new fascism ideology, is more dangerous than fascism of hitler because it put its foundation on religious based.
Ideological Prejudice Spreads Hate
November 13, 2007
"the message is the principle on how we view others not by prejudice
perception (bcs prejudice and self-justification lead to hatred).
anyway, many ppl claimed to be self-rigtheous, claimed to be a kind person,
they portraited them selves as very religious person, but i think we can see the
real person by their attitude towards others, how their treat others with
respect not by ridiculed them. i have more respect for an atheist who treat
others with respect and compassion than a religious hypocrite.
despite all religions in the world, whatever religions they might be. the best
thing is attitude.
without an attitude whatever religion we claimed to be good or the best, ppl
re simply gonna laugh and think we re making fun of our self, and more
importantly we re degrading our precious religion."
"the message is the principle on how we view others not by prejudice
perception (bcs prejudice and self-justification lead to hatred).
anyway, many ppl claimed to be self-rigtheous, claimed to be a kind person,
they portraited them selves as very religious person, but i think we can see the
real person by their attitude towards others, how their treat others with
respect not by ridiculed them. i have more respect for an atheist who treat
others with respect and compassion than a religious hypocrite.
despite all religions in the world, whatever religions they might be. the best
thing is attitude.
without an attitude whatever religion we claimed to be good or the best, ppl
re simply gonna laugh and think we re making fun of our self, and more
importantly we re degrading our precious religion."
Humanity
November 2007
"the universal values is not in one's religion, but in equality, humanity
and freedom.
in my personal opinion, the best religion dont exist. it's delusional. the
true religion/belief i dont have a clue what it is, even an atheist
claimed what they believe is the truth. anyway, u dont have to agree with
me though, everyone has their own opinion n beliefs. it's their right.
their personal faith re their basic right . who am i to claim that
hindhuism re the true religion, or atheist re the best belief system? so
why bother?
but now humanity has new enemy it's called- ideology of hatred. hitler had
tried once to genocide one race n to conquered europe, but he was
defeated. and died in shame. so this "ism" will also ended sooner or later."
"the universal values is not in one's religion, but in equality, humanity
and freedom.
in my personal opinion, the best religion dont exist. it's delusional. the
true religion/belief i dont have a clue what it is, even an atheist
claimed what they believe is the truth. anyway, u dont have to agree with
me though, everyone has their own opinion n beliefs. it's their right.
their personal faith re their basic right . who am i to claim that
hindhuism re the true religion, or atheist re the best belief system? so
why bother?
but now humanity has new enemy it's called- ideology of hatred. hitler had
tried once to genocide one race n to conquered europe, but he was
defeated. and died in shame. so this "ism" will also ended sooner or later."
Decline of pluralism a cause of concern?
MArch 4, 2009
"Fundies ideology re spreading like a virus,corrupting n infecting human
intelligence n humanity amongs indonesian,still many stay ignorance,the
wahabbist re popular nowdays,n the moderate re still silence"
"Fundies ideology re spreading like a virus,corrupting n infecting human
intelligence n humanity amongs indonesian,still many stay ignorance,the
wahabbist re popular nowdays,n the moderate re still silence"
Dont Want to Debate Fundies
March 5, 2009
"A civilize n intellectual debate can't be found if the other party is
deep-rooted fundies,u can't reason nor have a proper debate with them,fundies
just likes zombies they don't have capability of reasoning n when we challenge
their logic n try to expose them,they re vulnerable n their words became
violence. It's so typical n common of them bcs the truth is they just don't ve
any logical n intellectual answer to back up their argument, so that's why is so
ridiculous n waste of time. My advice is have pity on them n if any chance u
accidentally read their posting,just laugh at it,humour ur selves with
backwardness n stupidity, honestly it's quite funny most of the time. .;)"
"A civilize n intellectual debate can't be found if the other party is
deep-rooted fundies,u can't reason nor have a proper debate with them,fundies
just likes zombies they don't have capability of reasoning n when we challenge
their logic n try to expose them,they re vulnerable n their words became
violence. It's so typical n common of them bcs the truth is they just don't ve
any logical n intellectual answer to back up their argument, so that's why is so
ridiculous n waste of time. My advice is have pity on them n if any chance u
accidentally read their posting,just laugh at it,humour ur selves with
backwardness n stupidity, honestly it's quite funny most of the time. .;)"
Braindead
Oct 27, 2008.
"it's a horrific fact how far ppl could go in the name of certain belief. even its belief system is out of logic,causing the mind incapable to function intellectually, so out of touch with universal humanity, lost the capability of compassion, tolerance and to reason with its self, in another word 'inhumane'.
it's useless to have a logical discussion if logic,and reason are not the basic."
"it's a horrific fact how far ppl could go in the name of certain belief. even its belief system is out of logic,causing the mind incapable to function intellectually, so out of touch with universal humanity, lost the capability of compassion, tolerance and to reason with its self, in another word 'inhumane'.
it's useless to have a logical discussion if logic,and reason are not the basic."
Stupid Wars are Cool?
Augst 14, 2006.
fight for corruption, poverty and backwardness re not a popular things nowdays....
u have to follow the trend thesedays..., the trend is to create, join and volunteer for wars...
wars re everywhere...ppl re hungry and starve not for food anymore but for blood and the flesh of their own brothers...
our love for wars and hate for others are growing much stronger by reading and watching to the media..., then we shut off all the possibilities of peace...
most ppl think that corruption, poverty and backwardness re too little, too cheap and so not popular or not so "cool" to fight for....
fight for corruption, poverty and backwardness re not a popular things nowdays....
u have to follow the trend thesedays..., the trend is to create, join and volunteer for wars...
wars re everywhere...ppl re hungry and starve not for food anymore but for blood and the flesh of their own brothers...
our love for wars and hate for others are growing much stronger by reading and watching to the media..., then we shut off all the possibilities of peace...
most ppl think that corruption, poverty and backwardness re too little, too cheap and so not popular or not so "cool" to fight for....
Ad Hominem
November 27, 2007
"when ppl re not agree with ur own opinion , rather than debate and refute their argument by facts, logic n reason. some ppl choose to use ad hominem argument and ad hominem abusive in discussion.
agree to disagree is a common thing in liberal and secular society, but in fundamentalistic concept of thinking, there's no such thing. the only thing that exist in fundamentalistic concept of mind is an absolute and superior concept. there's no such thing as logical, reasoning and moreover a dialogue.
so when questions n critics occurs in discussion , rather than provide with a logical explaination they will feel personally insulted and feel ridiculed. bcs their roots is shame based. and when they feel ashamed they will get violence. sometimes with words , and sometimes with real actions.
when they feels insulted they will get violence in this case with words.
logic, reason and rational knowledge dont exist in the fundamentalistic belief system. the more u challenge them with logic and rational knowledge the more they feel insulted n inferior. and thats when the violence begins.
"The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge."
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"when ppl re not agree with ur own opinion , rather than debate and refute their argument by facts, logic n reason. some ppl choose to use ad hominem argument and ad hominem abusive in discussion.
agree to disagree is a common thing in liberal and secular society, but in fundamentalistic concept of thinking, there's no such thing. the only thing that exist in fundamentalistic concept of mind is an absolute and superior concept. there's no such thing as logical, reasoning and moreover a dialogue.
so when questions n critics occurs in discussion , rather than provide with a logical explaination they will feel personally insulted and feel ridiculed. bcs their roots is shame based. and when they feel ashamed they will get violence. sometimes with words , and sometimes with real actions.
when they feels insulted they will get violence in this case with words.
logic, reason and rational knowledge dont exist in the fundamentalistic belief system. the more u challenge them with logic and rational knowledge the more they feel insulted n inferior. and thats when the violence begins.
"The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge."
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Found on Real Headstones
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903-Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft
to see if the car
was on the way down.
It was.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace:
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me
For not rising.
In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.
A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art
In want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep;
And thou wilt find a Penny.
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle
Went out of tune.
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont
Here lies the body of our Anna -
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.
In a cemetery in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, you soon will be.
Prepare yourself and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I'll not consent
Until I know which way you went
Last add, from Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
One slug from a 44
No Les
No More
Born 1903-Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft
to see if the car
was on the way down.
It was.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace:
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me
For not rising.
In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.
A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art
In want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep;
And thou wilt find a Penny.
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle
Went out of tune.
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont
Here lies the body of our Anna -
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.
In a cemetery in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, you soon will be.
Prepare yourself and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I'll not consent
Until I know which way you went
Last add, from Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
One slug from a 44
No Les
No More
Saturday, January 23, 2010
The Quality of Heart
we all have our moments of weaknesses, we all have our personal traumatic experiences as the result of our past, we all have our fears and doubts, we all have negative thoughts once in a while, we all have things that we are struggling to overcome, we all could sometimes lost in the cosmic of confusion. it's all part of being human.
But sometimes in our daily life, we are simply forgetting that we all are human and people are also human, but sadly sometimes we just too quick to judge on people, to make our conclusion on them based on our fears, we are too easy to forgives our own mistakes and too hard to forgive others. sometimes we set the standard too high on people to meet with our expectation but too mediocre on our selves. we want people to love us with all their might and understand us beyond reasons, but honestly, do we ever ask our selves, are we capable to the same things as we ask others to do to us? sometimes we are too occupied with our pains and focus on our own misery that we dont even realize that we also hurt others by our own actions and words. I just remember some words that i got years ago " Hurting people hurt other people".
But life is a decision so does love. it's not an emotion but a decision. it is not something that whenever you feeling good it's love and when it doesnt so it's not love anymore. to love someone for real has never been easy, in the contrary the moment of fall in love is always the easiest, because everything is so beautiful, we feels on the top of the world, we are constantly exciting and feels good all the time, we feels intimately close and as nothing will ever separate us.
but the real test, is when we begin to see the flaws, caught up with moment of weaknesses, mistakes after mistakes that repeteadly made, when both were not listen to their heart anymore but keep on listen to the hurtful feelings, and pride came in and took over.
to love and to understand people is a process. relationship is a process, it's not a smooth ride, and along the way somehow you want to give up but love is a decision. the decision that sometimes has not been made in easy situation or condition, it's a decision every single day to love instead of.
puppies love or teenagers's love shall run away or grew tired easily, it cant stand the process of relationship, because it based only on child emotions and romantic feelings.
but real love or mature love, in the greatest storm and the darkest hours..it wont waive nor shaken. mature love choose to believe the best in a person, not the other way around. sometimes we just easily quit on people, without realizing maybe in the past they also had many chances to quit on us but they didnt, because they believe in us. they chose to endure their pains for our sake. because they knew if they quit rite away they would let us down.
mature love endures, but puppies love walks out.
we never knew the quality of people's heart until it had been tested by their most difficult circumstances. the responds of the heart shall reveals the true self. it's not what happens to people that determine who they really are, but it's what they will do about it.
sometimes we thought we knew someone quite well, but infact we actually dont.
some people claimed that they once really love someone, but in the end it's their perseverance, and commitment to them selves and others, that really reveals the quality of their heart.
But sometimes in our daily life, we are simply forgetting that we all are human and people are also human, but sadly sometimes we just too quick to judge on people, to make our conclusion on them based on our fears, we are too easy to forgives our own mistakes and too hard to forgive others. sometimes we set the standard too high on people to meet with our expectation but too mediocre on our selves. we want people to love us with all their might and understand us beyond reasons, but honestly, do we ever ask our selves, are we capable to the same things as we ask others to do to us? sometimes we are too occupied with our pains and focus on our own misery that we dont even realize that we also hurt others by our own actions and words. I just remember some words that i got years ago " Hurting people hurt other people".
But life is a decision so does love. it's not an emotion but a decision. it is not something that whenever you feeling good it's love and when it doesnt so it's not love anymore. to love someone for real has never been easy, in the contrary the moment of fall in love is always the easiest, because everything is so beautiful, we feels on the top of the world, we are constantly exciting and feels good all the time, we feels intimately close and as nothing will ever separate us.
but the real test, is when we begin to see the flaws, caught up with moment of weaknesses, mistakes after mistakes that repeteadly made, when both were not listen to their heart anymore but keep on listen to the hurtful feelings, and pride came in and took over.
to love and to understand people is a process. relationship is a process, it's not a smooth ride, and along the way somehow you want to give up but love is a decision. the decision that sometimes has not been made in easy situation or condition, it's a decision every single day to love instead of.
puppies love or teenagers's love shall run away or grew tired easily, it cant stand the process of relationship, because it based only on child emotions and romantic feelings.
but real love or mature love, in the greatest storm and the darkest hours..it wont waive nor shaken. mature love choose to believe the best in a person, not the other way around. sometimes we just easily quit on people, without realizing maybe in the past they also had many chances to quit on us but they didnt, because they believe in us. they chose to endure their pains for our sake. because they knew if they quit rite away they would let us down.
mature love endures, but puppies love walks out.
we never knew the quality of people's heart until it had been tested by their most difficult circumstances. the responds of the heart shall reveals the true self. it's not what happens to people that determine who they really are, but it's what they will do about it.
sometimes we thought we knew someone quite well, but infact we actually dont.
some people claimed that they once really love someone, but in the end it's their perseverance, and commitment to them selves and others, that really reveals the quality of their heart.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
I've Learned
I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that it's not what happens to people, It's what they do about it.
I've learned that you should always leave loves ones with loving words
it may be the last time you'll see them.
I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done.
Regardless the consequences.
I've learned that there are people, who love you clearly,
but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry
But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continuous to grow even ever the longest distance
Some goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want him to
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend,
they are going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others,
sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that just because two people argue
It doesn't mean they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue, It doesn't mean they do.
I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual
A head of their actions.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing
And see something totally different.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours,
by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when yo think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you, You will find the strength to help.
I've learned that writing, as well as talking.
Can lace emotional pans
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from
you too soon.
I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between
being nice.
And not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I've learned to love and be loved.
I've learned........
some people just don't care back.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that it's not what happens to people, It's what they do about it.
I've learned that you should always leave loves ones with loving words
it may be the last time you'll see them.
I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done.
Regardless the consequences.
I've learned that there are people, who love you clearly,
but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry
But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continuous to grow even ever the longest distance
Some goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want him to
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend,
they are going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others,
sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that just because two people argue
It doesn't mean they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue, It doesn't mean they do.
I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual
A head of their actions.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing
And see something totally different.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours,
by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when yo think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you, You will find the strength to help.
I've learned that writing, as well as talking.
Can lace emotional pans
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from
you too soon.
I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between
being nice.
And not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I've learned to love and be loved.
I've learned........
Friday, January 1, 2010
A Bright New Day
the final chapter of 2009 has closed, despite all the things that happened thru the year, humbly end it with a brave heart and gracefulness.
the most thing i had learned from the year of 2009, that i learned more about my selves. i have learned that love despite all its pains and sorrows, is still beautiful and love make you grow emotionally, intellectually, it's brings out the best and the worst part of you which you have never known before. it's make you seek deeper and digg deepeer into your inner being, n reveals the secret of your true self. it's tested your perseverance, your strength, and the quality of your heart.
it's challenged your wit, your intelligence, n sometimes it's wounded your pride but it teached you about humility and forgiveness.
im still learning, still stumble and fall sometimes, still got mad bcs of hurt, still got mad bcs of being disappointed, sometimes mistreated, ignored, but in the end of the day i chose to forgive.
i dont expect anything back. i just forgives. but if you did it again tomorrow, then after day of tomorrow. i still forgive you anyway. not because im so -called crazy in love, but because i need to forgive you for my selves, and you need that to know that there's someone that is really care about you no matter what you are and what you have done.
in the beginning of the new day of this new year, i hope for wisdom, strength, and a brave heart, also i hope for a teachable and humble heart. and wish life treats me kind.
A bright New DAy
the most thing i had learned from the year of 2009, that i learned more about my selves. i have learned that love despite all its pains and sorrows, is still beautiful and love make you grow emotionally, intellectually, it's brings out the best and the worst part of you which you have never known before. it's make you seek deeper and digg deepeer into your inner being, n reveals the secret of your true self. it's tested your perseverance, your strength, and the quality of your heart.
it's challenged your wit, your intelligence, n sometimes it's wounded your pride but it teached you about humility and forgiveness.
im still learning, still stumble and fall sometimes, still got mad bcs of hurt, still got mad bcs of being disappointed, sometimes mistreated, ignored, but in the end of the day i chose to forgive.
i dont expect anything back. i just forgives. but if you did it again tomorrow, then after day of tomorrow. i still forgive you anyway. not because im so -called crazy in love, but because i need to forgive you for my selves, and you need that to know that there's someone that is really care about you no matter what you are and what you have done.
in the beginning of the new day of this new year, i hope for wisdom, strength, and a brave heart, also i hope for a teachable and humble heart. and wish life treats me kind.
A bright New DAy
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